Despite having grown so much over the spring and summer semester, I failed again. Humbled by the fact that I will never be a perfect person, I can only turn to God.
I saw how the dots connected with each other. What I did not see was that the dots were leading me to a dead end. I can't say that I was not heartbroken. How could I, when things seemed to fit so well? And I thought I was right. Turned out I wasn't.
Yet the downfall seems to bring me up to another level of maturity. A day of fasting seems to bring me to the addressing of the different issues in my life. Somehow God can always bring life to ruins. And I hold on to my believe that everything happens for a reason.
God I couldn't understand why you brought her into my life. Perhaps I will never know. But I learned so much from her, and maybe that's what you want me to remember. I don't know what kind of story You're writing for me, but I clearly understand that You're the best scriptwriter. And if You're the author of life, why would I doubt Your ability to write? Sometimes I really want to take a peek at the things in the future, but I guess life is more interesting when it's full of surprises. God, heal me and purify my heart. Teach me how to put down my pride and surrender my life into Your hands. Show me Your glory.
