Ice Skating

Life is like ice skating. You fall for uncountable times at the beginning, and you get up every single time, tough and ready for the second fall down. Until one day you get so tired of falling down, that you tell yourself never to fall down again no matter what. At that moment, you make a vow to yourself, to be strong and ignorant of the tribulations and challenges in life, to strive and to never give up, to weather and to never give in. That way, you thrive.

Regret

I just want to find a place to shout my lungs out. Why is it so hard? When I thought I've gotten over it, Bang! It hit me right, it hit me hard, that things are never going to be the same again. I wish we can be friends again, but the thing is, how is it possible for you to act like nothing has happened between us at all? How is it that you can still smile and laugh in front of me like that? How is it that you can let go so easily? In the end I have come to decide that you don't deserve anyone's love. You don't. I wish we have not met. I wish I were not in this position, torn between wanting to forget and wanting to keep. How ridiculous is it that I am being tortured by someone who doesn't even care, who doesn't even realize that as she lives her everyday life happily, someone else is being ripped apart. I really really really regret.

Appreciate

Okay here I come crapping late at night again. Attended Re:Union by Acts Church last night. It was a really amazing conference overall. But I couldn't really understand the front part, where they invited some rock singers who sang songs that I could never catch the words even though I tried really hard. Pastor Kenneth said the performances were to show to all the people how much talents there are in the Kingdom of God. Well, maybe that explains. It was an amazing closing of the three-day conference, and the praise and worship session is by far, the longest that I have attended. The atmosphere was slowly built up little by little until it reached the peak, when the whole Stadium Negara seemed to be shaken by our praise. It was heart moving. It was astounding.

One week of no-class life ends tomorrow. Two assignments to be passed up next week, but I have not touched either of them. So cool. A test coming up, but the same thing applies. I don't even know which chapter is included. That's how messed up Summer Sem is. But well, I guess everything is gonna end in three more weeks. Sigh, time is really passing fast. Not anxious to go to the United States at all. I like the people here. I like the food here. I like the weather here. I like being here. Appreciate, appreciate, appreciate, is all that I can remind myself of. Be grateful for the past, be pumped up for the present, and be hopeful for the future. With faith, hope, and love :)

Who Am I?

For a long long time, I have been searching for my identity without even realizing that I am doing it. For years, I have lived my life doing things and being a person that I don't even know of. But when realization hits me hard in my face, I know how great a person I can be, if I want to be.

Studying sociology can spark my imagination. My thoughts. When role play comes into my mind, I thought of myself as a spark. A spark that ignites people's lives.

I am a son of God. I am a son of my parents. A student. A brother. A friend. An artist. A photographer. A mechanical engineer to be. A listener. An observer. A gamer. A badminton player. A futsal player. A basketball player. A church member. A Facebook active member. A reader. A dreamer. A late night blogger.  Once a boyfriend. Now a stranger. Once a hater. Now a lover. Once a naughty little boy. Now a mature young man. Sometimes I have multiple roles, but I guess I cope well.

Every single day, I am doing something. If I manage to learn a craft or a skill per day, in one year I will be able to master 365 skills. If I watch a movie per day, I will be able to learn 365 lessons in life. But of course, some movies have nothing worth to learn. If, and only if. Yes, I am a dreamer. But I also live my dreams, like there is no tomorrow. Once a thinker, always a thinker.

There are things that are meant to be let go. I now understand. It doesn't mean like if you hold on to it, it will be yours. If it wants to be set free, it's always better to have it its way. There won't be much difference, just the feelings. And that doesn't matter as well I guess. At the end of the day, a person might just be a visitor in your life, and sooner or later you will find someone who is willing to stay forever, not just rent the house, but buy it, and invest in it, like there is no other.

This semester is so free. I came to realize that I have practically wasted every single day in this semester, except from the trip to Cameron. But at least I chat with people. I share my thoughts, I counseled a number of people. Having no Campus Alive meeting is just so terrible. I feel like I am doing nothing in God's ministry. Reaching out to people is so hard. But by God's grace, I will always try. Yeap, be optimistic.

I don't know why I am sleeping so late nowadays. 3 a.m. seems early to me. Sleep at 5, wake up at 3 p.m. Weird. Something wrong with my body clock? But I think I can sleep if I want to. Sigh...guess that being awake in the morning doesn't feel that good. So might as well just be awake when there is no people around. That way, I can do anything, post anything, say anything I like. I smurfing love you and miss you now :')

Well, I don't know what I am crapping now. Just typing non-stop. I think I can be a writer too. Oh yeah, write about some life experiences of mine that no one has ever had. I once wrote my life experience, but that story will remain with someone else. Who will I write it to next time? Hopefully the next time, will also be my last time. It's so hard to recall all those memories hidden in the deepest corners in my brain. God knows how difficult it is to lie down and thinking hard about the past. But sometimes, I guess things that I do, are not really worth it. Sometimes I feel like I wasted my time, but well, I guess it will prove itself a right thing to do one day. I hope.

Time flies. August is gonna be here real soon. How will the place I head off to be? How are the people there? No idea. But I guess it will be a brand new experience. I have a feeling that I will be really, really busy. Hopefully I can steal some time to chill out somewhere isolated. With some close friends? Haha, gonna have some nice days ahead. Chicago, LA, New York... Places that I want to visit. Better don't get culture shock though. Weeee~

Took a great photo in my trip to Cameron Highlands. One of my best shots anyway. Not just the timing, but also the meaning behind. A caterpillar, and a butterfly. I remembered I used the metamorphosis of a caterpillar in my first introductory speech in INTEC. The change. The transformation. Throughout my life, I slowly realize that life is not so much about the destination. It's the journey that counts. It's not about the end products. It's about the process. The ongoing process, as we learn and absorb, as we see and listen, as we appreciate everyone that is around us. Parents, friends. Even enemies. The transformation when you get to let go of all your hatred. All your sorrow. All your worries. You know that you're flying. How do I know? Because I am flying high now :)

Midvalley Visitations

Went to Midvalley twice for the PcExpo - Pc Fair. There is a promotion going on for Seagate 500GB USB3.0 hard disks. One hard disk for RM 149. Three of my friends asked me to buy for them, since they have gone back to their hometowns. The promotion starts at 11 a.m. for three consecutive days. Only 70 hard disks at that price every day. Miss that, and one has to pay RM199. The first day, I reached at 11:30. No more promotional price. So I decided to come back earlier again the next day. Managed to persuade three of my friends to follow and help me. Photostated the coupons as well. Too bad things didn't go according to my plan. KTM was late, and the situation worsened when the KTM that we took broke down. The suffocating moments when we had to stay in the densely packed couch with the engine down for 20 minutes.  In the end we had to switch to another train, and we reached there at 11:30a.m. Again, no more promotional price. Feel bad for my friends, feel bad for myself for having to go through all these without even reaching my goal. Sigh..too tired at the moment. Going to Midvalley twice really is killing. The journey, the time... But feeling good because I managed to eat Snowflake and Chatime, plus an X.O Seafood Fried Mee Hun. Bought a headphone, a mouse and a memory card for my camera. Broke. :(

Day 2 at Cameron Highlands

Went on a tour around Cameron Highlands. Visited a tea farm belonged to Boh's Company. Went up Mount Brinchan merely for the scenery. Strawberry farm after that, followed by a trip to a waterfall led by an aborigin. Used sumpit for the first time in my life. Ate steamboat tonight. The best part of the trip probably. The fellowship, the chattering, the bond. Soon, we will part. Wondering how will my feelings be that time...

 Steamboat for dinner

Day 1 at Cameron Highlands

Woke up at 6:30 a.m., started moving at 7 to KL Central, and reached Cameron Highlands at 2:30 p.m. The weather is not really cold then. Checked into our apartment and went out immediately. Went to the town and walked around, searching for our lunch. Ended up walking a big round and ate our lunch at a Chinese restaurant. After that, we went to The Lord's Cafe to have our tea. Forgot what the thing was called. It's bread with butter and strawberry cream. All the girls liked it, but I choked while I was eating it. Went to buy some breads for tomorrow morning, and then went to the night market there. Looked around for food again, and ate some kuew tiao goreng and some other fried things. I think my sore throat will worsen tomorrow. My body is feeling hot again after bathing, even though it's so cold at night. Guess we will just stay in our rooms and chit-chat tonight.

A random shot taken on the bus

Teatime

Visited a shop that sells flowers