During the second last life group of this semester, our leaders gave us an assignment - to answer three questions. I guess the purpose was to encourage us to reflect. But the questions are kind of interesting, so I decide to just answer them here.
1. Who is God?
Well, to me God is above everything, in the middle of everything and under everything. He is above all my imperfections; He is in the center of my life; and He is waiting underneath me to catch me whenever I fall. He is my provider, He is my comforter, He is my King, and at the same time He is my listener. He is always faithful, and He never fails. God is my father, my friend, my lover. He understands me even more than I understand myself, and He knows what's best for me. God is the best author in the world, and the greatest magicians of all time. Nothing is impossible in Him. If I can only use one phrase to describe Him, then "God is God Almighty."
2. Is God trustworthy?
Yes, of course He is. I not just believe so; I know. Throughout my whole life, He has never failed me. And I know He never will. In times of my own failure He always brings something good out of it. In times of success He constantly reminds me of His grace and His faithfulness. If God is not trustworthy, there's no one whom I am trust in this world.
3. Who am I?
Perhaps this is one question that I have some problems with. The thing is, I don't really know how to describe myself. I see myself as different from a lot of people, but in some areas I'm like everyone else. I'm sinful, I'm imperfect, I'm selfish, I'm prideful. Recently I'm confused about my own identity in people's eyes. Too many people know me as a photographer. I used to be known as a smart kid, an all-rounder, a teachers' favorite, a vibrant child, a sport master, etc... Now people just know me as a photographer. In my mind there's this thought: what if I quit photography and strip off my identity as a photographer? Who else can I be? I've dedicated too much time in developing my skills in photography, that I neglected the growth of my other potentials. If one day I really quit photography, I don't think there will be as many people who know me anymore. But at that very moment, I realized my true identity should be a child of God. And if there's nothing else that I'm good at, this is one identity that I shall never lose. It's the best identity that I can have. It's not about me, it's not about what I'm good at, it should always be about Him. And so who am I? I'm a child of God.
Friday, 6 December 2013
Sunday, 1 December 2013
Total Reflection
Took a few days off during Thanksgiving to do a little bit of reflection. Realized how sinful and imperfect I am as a human being. I'll never be able to reach God's standard. I can never be perfectly faithful to him. Yet in the midst of all this brokenness, I know His grace is enough for me. The sermon this morning spoke right into my heart; or to put it in another way, spoke exactly what's inside my mind as I did my reflection these few days. God doesn't promise us elimination from hardships; but he promises us His presence in times of uncertainty. Even when we're faithless, He remains faithful. And that is enough for me.
End of thanksgiving week. The start of Advent season. Pen off.
Tuesday, 26 November 2013
A Story Written by God
Despite having grown so much over the spring and summer semester, I failed again. Humbled by the fact that I will never be a perfect person, I can only turn to God.
I saw how the dots connected with each other. What I did not see was that the dots were leading me to a dead end. I can't say that I was not heartbroken. How could I, when things seemed to fit so well? And I thought I was right. Turned out I wasn't.
Yet the downfall seems to bring me up to another level of maturity. A day of fasting seems to bring me to the addressing of the different issues in my life. Somehow God can always bring life to ruins. And I hold on to my believe that everything happens for a reason.
God I couldn't understand why you brought her into my life. Perhaps I will never know. But I learned so much from her, and maybe that's what you want me to remember. I don't know what kind of story You're writing for me, but I clearly understand that You're the best scriptwriter. And if You're the author of life, why would I doubt Your ability to write? Sometimes I really want to take a peek at the things in the future, but I guess life is more interesting when it's full of surprises. God, heal me and purify my heart. Teach me how to put down my pride and surrender my life into Your hands. Show me Your glory.
I saw how the dots connected with each other. What I did not see was that the dots were leading me to a dead end. I can't say that I was not heartbroken. How could I, when things seemed to fit so well? And I thought I was right. Turned out I wasn't.
Yet the downfall seems to bring me up to another level of maturity. A day of fasting seems to bring me to the addressing of the different issues in my life. Somehow God can always bring life to ruins. And I hold on to my believe that everything happens for a reason.
God I couldn't understand why you brought her into my life. Perhaps I will never know. But I learned so much from her, and maybe that's what you want me to remember. I don't know what kind of story You're writing for me, but I clearly understand that You're the best scriptwriter. And if You're the author of life, why would I doubt Your ability to write? Sometimes I really want to take a peek at the things in the future, but I guess life is more interesting when it's full of surprises. God, heal me and purify my heart. Teach me how to put down my pride and surrender my life into Your hands. Show me Your glory.
Sunday, 27 October 2013
A New Responsibility
Officially became the co-leader of a sub-ministry team in the church. DOCS coverage. Basically we take photos and videos, archieve them, and then filter and edit the photos before passing them to the Web team and the Publications team. It has been so long since I actually lead something. Recalling those days in the Boys' Brigade back in secondary school, leading was a natural thing. Got used to following after I left school I guess. It's time to step up and take the lead again. Deep down in my heart, I want to channel everything that I know to all the members in the team. I want to build a powerful DOCS team that can really document and showcase God's work and glory to the world outside the church. God, use me as You will.
Friday, 25 October 2013
Post-Drinking
I will probably never drink again.
So I met up with a close friend of mine, and we went shopping at Kroger. He suddenly suggested to buy beer and drink together as we share about our lives. Since I'm already of age, I casually agreed. But I have never liked to drink since I was young. I tried a few types of beer and wine before, and I always regretted drinking afterwards. I thought things might change as time passes. Turned out I was wrong.
Initially we wanted to buy a bottle of red wine because I told him I always added the red wine in Sprite when I was young and it tasted really good. But in the end we decided to buy some apple-flavored drink with just 5% alcohol in it since we need to go to Morning Prayer the next morning. Guess what? My face was red and my head ached after drinking not even half of the bottle. He looked at me with his mouth opened and eventually just laughed. At that moment, what I could think of was just, "I shouldn't have drunk this."
I never thought a little bottle of apple-flavored drink could affect me that much. Maybe there is just something bothering my mind right now. To be honest, I did a really stupid thing lately. And I feel really dumb whenever I think about it. Sigh. When will I ever learn.
Anyway, God's grace is enough. But I will probably never drink again.
p.s. waking up in the middle of the night, and I'm just sitting here not knowing what to do.
So I met up with a close friend of mine, and we went shopping at Kroger. He suddenly suggested to buy beer and drink together as we share about our lives. Since I'm already of age, I casually agreed. But I have never liked to drink since I was young. I tried a few types of beer and wine before, and I always regretted drinking afterwards. I thought things might change as time passes. Turned out I was wrong.
Initially we wanted to buy a bottle of red wine because I told him I always added the red wine in Sprite when I was young and it tasted really good. But in the end we decided to buy some apple-flavored drink with just 5% alcohol in it since we need to go to Morning Prayer the next morning. Guess what? My face was red and my head ached after drinking not even half of the bottle. He looked at me with his mouth opened and eventually just laughed. At that moment, what I could think of was just, "I shouldn't have drunk this."
I never thought a little bottle of apple-flavored drink could affect me that much. Maybe there is just something bothering my mind right now. To be honest, I did a really stupid thing lately. And I feel really dumb whenever I think about it. Sigh. When will I ever learn.
Anyway, God's grace is enough. But I will probably never drink again.
p.s. waking up in the middle of the night, and I'm just sitting here not knowing what to do.
Sunday, 20 October 2013
Torrential
One thing that I always fail is probably to update my blog. It's funny how I'm always full of random thoughts but I never care to jot them down. A few months after Spring, I finally decided to come back and drop a post. Hopefully a few years later when I look back, this will be worth it.
So !gnite Conference was awesome. Met with so many people from HMCC Chicago and HMCC Austin. Serving during this conference was so intense, especially when the lighting was so fancy. Of course it looked nice, but taking photos was such a difficult job. Capturing precious moments in the dark...tough. But thank God it was a great Conference. Gained so much from it.
Summer was spent with church community. With nothing to do every day, I just walked around the campus and talking to random people that I know. Went to church almost every day to help with random things. Jogged with CSMP teams for a few times, and even played frisbee with Asia Mission Team once. Haha...such a chill and fun summer. Weather was great, pictures turned out awesome. Officially fallen in love with the community here.
Fall semester started before I realized it. Time passes too fast. Taking 14 credits seems so little, but it is crazier than any of the semesters before. With two lab courses in hands, homework seems like an infinity. Weekends become the busiest moments of the week, and life group on Wednesday becomes the best place to take a break. The first midterm passed a week ago. Turned out better than I expected. Indeed, in the midst of everything, God is always faithful. He is and will always be my provider. With that I stay contented.
Undergrad Retreat this year was themed Torrential. Let It Rain prayers were thrown up into heaven, and hands held tight together knowing that He always answers. It was great forming all the bonds in between life groups. Seeing how God transforms people is amazing. People coming to Christ is, I quote Pastor Seth, the greatest miracle on Earth. So many Chinese students came to know Christ. My heart was moved. Deeply. There is hope in China after all.
Malaysian government banned the use of the word "Allah" in the Christian newspaper "The Herald". Sounds ridiculous to me. We have used that word to refer to our God in Bahasa for so long. Sigh. This issue raised so many problems in Malaysia now. Hopefully things will settle down and people will be reunited again. I strongly believe God is transforming Malaysia still.
Last thing. I'm amazed by a girl that I recently got to know. She saw one of my photos on Facebook and asked if I used just a tripod or with a filter as well. Man, that has never happened before. I mean, there are a lot of good photographers in the church, but most of them focus more on portraits. I'm never a portrait photographer. But I love landscapes! And using ND filter to capture the flow of water...it is one of my fondest techniques. I've always found it fun to talk to anyone about photography, but this time something clicked in my heart. Chatting with that girl makes me realized the many similarities between us. Too many. And she gave me such a good first impression. Pastor Seth preached on a sermon related to Relationship right after I got to know that girl. It's so funny, but I always ask myself, how do I know when is God's timing? Weird as it is, I always hope that my wife in the future can be a person who has the same passion for photography, travelling, nature...etc. God, could this be the girl? Whatever it is, I pray that you help me to do things in a Godly way. Trim me and shape me to be a man of God. #More of You, Less of Me
So !gnite Conference was awesome. Met with so many people from HMCC Chicago and HMCC Austin. Serving during this conference was so intense, especially when the lighting was so fancy. Of course it looked nice, but taking photos was such a difficult job. Capturing precious moments in the dark...tough. But thank God it was a great Conference. Gained so much from it.
Summer was spent with church community. With nothing to do every day, I just walked around the campus and talking to random people that I know. Went to church almost every day to help with random things. Jogged with CSMP teams for a few times, and even played frisbee with Asia Mission Team once. Haha...such a chill and fun summer. Weather was great, pictures turned out awesome. Officially fallen in love with the community here.
Fall semester started before I realized it. Time passes too fast. Taking 14 credits seems so little, but it is crazier than any of the semesters before. With two lab courses in hands, homework seems like an infinity. Weekends become the busiest moments of the week, and life group on Wednesday becomes the best place to take a break. The first midterm passed a week ago. Turned out better than I expected. Indeed, in the midst of everything, God is always faithful. He is and will always be my provider. With that I stay contented.
Undergrad Retreat this year was themed Torrential. Let It Rain prayers were thrown up into heaven, and hands held tight together knowing that He always answers. It was great forming all the bonds in between life groups. Seeing how God transforms people is amazing. People coming to Christ is, I quote Pastor Seth, the greatest miracle on Earth. So many Chinese students came to know Christ. My heart was moved. Deeply. There is hope in China after all.
Malaysian government banned the use of the word "Allah" in the Christian newspaper "The Herald". Sounds ridiculous to me. We have used that word to refer to our God in Bahasa for so long. Sigh. This issue raised so many problems in Malaysia now. Hopefully things will settle down and people will be reunited again. I strongly believe God is transforming Malaysia still.
Last thing. I'm amazed by a girl that I recently got to know. She saw one of my photos on Facebook and asked if I used just a tripod or with a filter as well. Man, that has never happened before. I mean, there are a lot of good photographers in the church, but most of them focus more on portraits. I'm never a portrait photographer. But I love landscapes! And using ND filter to capture the flow of water...it is one of my fondest techniques. I've always found it fun to talk to anyone about photography, but this time something clicked in my heart. Chatting with that girl makes me realized the many similarities between us. Too many. And she gave me such a good first impression. Pastor Seth preached on a sermon related to Relationship right after I got to know that girl. It's so funny, but I always ask myself, how do I know when is God's timing? Weird as it is, I always hope that my wife in the future can be a person who has the same passion for photography, travelling, nature...etc. God, could this be the girl? Whatever it is, I pray that you help me to do things in a Godly way. Trim me and shape me to be a man of God. #More of You, Less of Me
Wednesday, 26 June 2013
Back
Have been missing for some time. Not due to busyness, not due to overloaded work, not due to any significant reason, but merely the lack of interest and motivation to blog.
Spring semester is just over. It has been a really good semester. All assignments and no exam. Love this kind of life a lot actually. Two months full of paper-writing and photo-shooting. God knows how much time I have spent doing all these things. Got an A for my photography class. For once in my university life, I am not satisfied with an A. Maybe it's time to relearn the meaning of being contented.
!gnite Conference 2013 is just around the corner. The AV team rents a lot of fancy lights for the conference. Attached with this post is a photo showing how a part of the lights looks like.
Life in summer has been great so far. First day of summer, I had nothing to do. Ended up going to church at 9 a.m. to help build a signpost. Stayed in the church to help set up the lighting and stayed there until 3 p.m. Went to Landmark to plan a life group trip to Ohio and Kentucky with Joshua. After that, we went to Neo Papalis to eat pizza (20% of the profit that night goes to Asia Missions Team in HMCC). Went to church again for !gnite Prayer Gathering. Feel contented because initially I had a day with nothing to do. But I ended up doing so many things. And above all, it's more of Him, and less of me. Thank you God.
Today, I woke up at 6 a.m. Went to the church for morning prayer meeting. And guess what? Right after that, I ran 8 miles! 8 MILES! That is around 12.8 km. That is the longest run in my life. The greatest thing about that run is that I didn't stop. Broke a personal record yeah?
Excited about !gnite Conference. Meeting people from Austin and Chicago has been great so far. Looking forward to see more of Him, and less of me :)
Spring semester is just over. It has been a really good semester. All assignments and no exam. Love this kind of life a lot actually. Two months full of paper-writing and photo-shooting. God knows how much time I have spent doing all these things. Got an A for my photography class. For once in my university life, I am not satisfied with an A. Maybe it's time to relearn the meaning of being contented.
!gnite Conference 2013 is just around the corner. The AV team rents a lot of fancy lights for the conference. Attached with this post is a photo showing how a part of the lights looks like.
Life in summer has been great so far. First day of summer, I had nothing to do. Ended up going to church at 9 a.m. to help build a signpost. Stayed in the church to help set up the lighting and stayed there until 3 p.m. Went to Landmark to plan a life group trip to Ohio and Kentucky with Joshua. After that, we went to Neo Papalis to eat pizza (20% of the profit that night goes to Asia Missions Team in HMCC). Went to church again for !gnite Prayer Gathering. Feel contented because initially I had a day with nothing to do. But I ended up doing so many things. And above all, it's more of Him, and less of me. Thank you God.
Today, I woke up at 6 a.m. Went to the church for morning prayer meeting. And guess what? Right after that, I ran 8 miles! 8 MILES! That is around 12.8 km. That is the longest run in my life. The greatest thing about that run is that I didn't stop. Broke a personal record yeah?
Excited about !gnite Conference. Meeting people from Austin and Chicago has been great so far. Looking forward to see more of Him, and less of me :)
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