Of Photography, Engineering and Confusion.

I love taking photos. Maybe it's because of my dad. Maybe, just maybe, being born into a house with lots of photography equipment sparked my interest in photography. When I was just a small kid I played with DSLR. But I didn't really know a lot about it. I was just, seriously, fooling around with it. Now, my interest is growing. But somehow I know I can't really go into this field. I am an engineer-to-be. I have to study. And photography needs time. A huge amount of time. And I can't afford that. Sigh. Sometimes I think I have too many interests. Sometimes I wish I can be a great surgeon. One that can play with the surgical blades like how I can play with the steering wheel. Sometimes I wish I can be a scientist. Then I wouldn't have to follow instructions and I can invent my own things. Sometimes I wish I can be a philosopher. Then I can crap non-stop and I don't have to do anything. Alas, this world is really unfathomable. Nothing is easy; but nothing is impossible. For the time being, I shall just remain who I am.

Speed of Light

Time passes faster than the speed of light. It scares me when I realize that it has been more than a month since I came back. So fast. Like a thief sneaking pass. I have not done much. As expected. Sigh. 20 more days and my holiday will end. Hope I can accomplish what I want to in the first place. Gonna play futsal this afternoon. My right ankle still hurts. Has been a year since I injured myself. Wondering what is wrong with it. And there will be a total lunar eclipse tonight. Hope the sky will be clear and I can snap some pictures :)

Christmas

Again. Christmas is drawing near. Gonna be the last Christmas that I will have in my hometown for the next three or more years. Seriously gonna miss the epic round town procession and the thick Christmas atmosphere in Sibu. I should go and join the procession for the last time. One last time before I fly. Time really slips without me realizing it.

Okay this is irrelevant. Often I think a lot about life. But I seldom try to put it in words. The most that I do is to use a few words to summarize my thoughts and post it on facebook. And results in people thinking that I am an "emo" person. No I'm not. I am just giving people "a piece of my mind". Maybe that piece is too small for them to understand the whole picture. Maybe it's time for me to write it out. Maybe I can try to be different, despite how insignificant I am. Maybe it's time to let go, despite how hard it is. Maybe it's time to pick it up, despite how ridiculous it might seem. Maybe it's time to forget everything, and focus on the true meaning of Christmas - Jesus Christ.

This post is so random. It blurs myself.

Of the Sky, Again

Found my interest in taking the pictures of the sky, decreasing. Maybe I have seen too many versions of beautiful skies, until an extent that when the sky is looking ordinary, taking pictures of it becomes boring to me. Plus the fact that it has been raining a lot lately, there are not many days when the sky is clear and the sun is bright. Sigh..sunset oh sunset...

Finding something interesting to do. If possible, something not associated with laptops. Have been in touch with laptops too much. Feel like driving to somewhere far. But there is no people to accompany me. Driving alone to a faraway place can be boring sometimes. Can someone teach me what to do to fill my free time? I am tired of writing essays. Really tired.

I feel like playing badminton. But again, there is no one to play with. Futsal? No news. Sigh..is there anything I can do apart from dota, essays, photos, and limteh? Maybe I really should go and make myself a kite.

What's wrong?

Woke up late. Planned to go for breakfast with my eldest sister and mum, but my mum rejected the offer. She said something like, "The places that you all go, I don't want to go." What's wrong? Come on, I don't understand. My eldest sister pissed me off by saying, "Aiya, we just go by ourselves la.." I was like, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? What about your mum?

In the end I didn't go. My sister called my dad and asked him to buy some food home for her to eat. My dad asked her what she wanted to eat. She said something like, "我不要吃炒面， 炒米粉， 炒果条，哥罗面。如果你打包鸡饭， 那个饭一定要是鸡饭，而且要叫他拿辣椒汁。” Again, WHAT"S WRONG WITH YOU?! I am impressed with my father's patience so far. My eldest sister is acting like a boss at home. I know you are a doctor, so what? I know you are tired of working, I can understand that, so what? Who do you think you are? One day I am really going to scold you in your face. I hope on that day you will wake up to realize that life is much more than you think.

Confused

Have been in a state of blur. Promised myself to wake up early so that I can make the most out of every day. Failed. Promised myself to find something meaningful to do when I am enjoying my holiday. Failed. Promised myself to settle my university application as soon as possible. Failed. Promised myself not to play too much dota. Failed. Promised myself to stop wasting time. Failed. Total failure =.= !!!

Didn't promise myself to go into photography. I did. Didn't promise myself to exercise so much. I did. Didn't promise myself to think so much about life. I was forced to by the universities' essays. Didn't promise myself to blog much. I didn't, but I will.

Promise myself to focus on some of the things in my life. Gonna really focus. FOCUS!!!

Catch Up

A lot of things have been happening lately, and I feel that my life is getting a bit too hectic. Sleeping at 2 sth has become a norm, sleeping at 4? Occasionally. A lot of things have not happened up to my expectations. A lot of things have let me down. And again and again I told myself, "No it is not time to let go yet. Gotta continue fighting." But the thing is, I am getting mentally, physically, and whateverly tired. Tired to care about so many things. Cold war between friends, being stuck in the middle, bad exam results, blur university applications, and some other little things that bother me just because I care too much, maybe. The upcoming week is full of tests and quizzes, totaling up to 8 or maybe even 9. Gonna be a nerd for the days to come. Sigh. But I still think life is awesome. I have an Almighty God to turn to after all. He never let me down =)