Regret

I just want to find a place to shout my lungs out. Why is it so hard? When I thought I've gotten over it, Bang! It hit me right, it hit me hard, that things are never going to be the same again. I wish we can be friends again, but the thing is, how is it possible for you to act like nothing has happened between us at all? How is it that you can still smile and laugh in front of me like that? How is it that you can let go so easily? In the end I have come to decide that you don't deserve anyone's love. You don't. I wish we have not met. I wish I were not in this position, torn between wanting to forget and wanting to keep. How ridiculous is it that I am being tortured by someone who doesn't even care, who doesn't even realize that as she lives her everyday life happily, someone else is being ripped apart. I really really really regret.